From Flicker to Flame: How to Light Your Soul’s Pilot Light

We’re Doing It Wrong

How many times have you rushed through Modeh Ani in the morning? You’re barely awake, mumble the words, and before you know it, you’re scrolling your device or racing into the chaos of the day. It’s automatic—just another task to complete.

I’ve been there. For years, I said Modeh Ani and many other parts of tefillah by rote. I didn’t understand the deeper meaning behind the words or even the basic translation of some of them. My prayers often felt like a mechanical task rather than a meaningful connection with Hashem.

Even when I wasn’t fully connected, those actions mattered. They were building something inside me—a foundation that I didn’t even realize was there.

Saying It By Rote: My Personal Journey

Growing up with dyslexia, reading has always been a struggle for me. I’m not a quick reader, and for years, tefillah felt daunting. It took me a long time to build myself up to the amount of praying I do currently, which includes saying Tehillim and other additional tefillot regularly on top of the 3 regular tefillot each day.

If I had decided back then that since I didn’t fully understand the words or couldn’t say them with intention, I shouldn’t say them at all, I would have been starting from zero when things finally began to “connect” for me. Instead, I kept saying the words, even when they felt empty. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was lighting a pilot light in my neshama—a small but steady flame that was ready to ignite when I was ready to grow.

I’m far from where I want to be, but when I look back, I realize how much farther behind I’d be if I had given up. Because I practiced saying the words over and over, and i went through the motions, I had a foundation to build on. When the time came to infuse those words with kavana (intention), they were already a familiar part of me. And that has made so much of a difference.

The Fire Inside: "Mitoch Shelo Lishma, Ba Lishma"

The concept of doing things by rote isn’t just about persistence—it’s about recognizing the deeper truth behind our actions. Chazal teach us, "Mitoch shelo lishma, ba lishma"—when we do something without the right intentions, it will eventually lead to doing it with intention.

The Lubavitcher Rebbe took this idea even further. He explained that the word mitoch doesn’t just mean "from," but "within." Even when we’re doing something "not for the right reasons," deep within us, we’re actually doing it for the right reasons. Inside every effort, even one done by rote, is a spark of genuine connection waiting to be uncovered.

Think of it like this: when you say Modeh Ani in the morning, even if it feels automatic, there’s a part of your soul that is fully present and connected. That’s the fire inside you—the pilot light that keeps burning, ready to grow into something greater.

The Lesson of Children in Shul

This idea is so beautifully illustrated in how we raise our children. When we teach kids to say Modeh Ani, brachot, or even bring them to shul, we don’t expect them to fully understand what’s happening. They might come to shul just to get a candy from the candy man, kiss the Torah, or collect candies at a bar mitzvah.

As they get older, they might step inside for Kaddish, Barchu, or Kedusha. These moments of familiarity build a foundation, even if they’re not actively participating. When the time comes for them to take it seriously, they already know the words, the rhythm, and the environment. The light is already burning inside them.

I’ve seen the other side of this too. At bar mitzvahs, it’s not uncommon to see kids invited to shul for the first time, looking lost and out of place. They don’t know the prayers or the customs, and they feel like outsiders. That’s what happens when the foundation isn’t there.

For my own children, I want them to grow up with the familiarity and warmth of shul. Even if they’re not ready to stay inside the whole time or fully participate, I know that every small interaction—whether it’s kissing the Torah, seeing people davening or hearing Kedusha—is building something lasting inside them.

Why Gratitude Is the Foundation

Gratitude works the same way. Starting your day with Modeh Ani, even when it feels rote, keeps the connection with Hashem alive. It trains you to see the world through a lens of appreciation, even if you’re not actively feeling it in the moment. And when the time comes to deepen that gratitude, the foundation is already there.

Gratitude isn’t just about saying thank you—it’s about living thank you. It’s about recognizing that every moment, every breath, is a gift from Hashem.

The Dream Is Within Reach

Every small act of gratitude, every word of tefillah said by rote, is a step on the path to connection. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about showing up. Because even when you’re just going through the motions, you’re building something powerful inside you.

Living the dream isn’t about waiting for the perfect moment. It’s about lighting the flame today. Are you ready to take that step?

It’s Time to Turn Up the Flame

Having the foundation is essential—it’s what keeps the pilot light of your neshama burning. But if you’re reading this, it’s time to take the next step.

Let’s turn up the flame.

Whatever you’ve been doing until now—whether it’s saying Modeh Ani, davening, or expressing gratitude—let’s heat things up. Add intention. Bring your words and actions to life. Don’t just say Modeh Ani—live it. Feel the gratitude in your heart, let it shine in your actions, and light your soul on fire.

When we infuse meaning and emotion into what we do, our connection to Hashem becomes vibrant and alive. The pilot light that’s been flickering quietly can burst into a powerful flame, filling our lives with warmth, purpose, and light.

Now is the time. Let’s turn up the heat and transform our actions, words, and souls into something extraordinary.

Your Next Step: Share the Fire

You’re already part of this journey, and I’m so grateful to have you here. Each week, we’re building something incredible together—tools, insights, and challenges to deepen our connection with Hashem and live a life filled with gratitude, purpose, and joy.

But this journey isn’t meant to be traveled alone.

If this week’s message resonated with you, I’m asking you to double down. Take a moment to think of one person in your life who could benefit from these ideas. A friend, a family member, a coworker—someone who’s ready to turn up the flame in their own life. Share this newsletter with them and invite them to subscribe.

The more people we inspire together, the brighter the light we can bring into the world. Let’s turn this spark into a fire that spreads across our community and beyond.

Practical Steps to Build Gratitude

You can take these ideas and start Living the Dream:

1. Pause During Modeh Ani
   Tomorrow morning, take ten more seconds to reflect on one specific thing you’re grateful for. Let that gratitude set the tone for your day.

2. Gratitude Journaling
   Write down three things you’re thankful for each night before bed. Over time, this practice will train your mind to focus on the abundance of blessings you have.

3. Join the 4-Minute Gratitude Program
   Ready to make gratitude a daily habit? The 4-Minute Gratitude Program gives you simple yet powerful prompts and reflections to help you see the blessings everywhere around you, deepen your connection with Hashem, and start living the dream every day.

Weekly Challenge

The Gratitude Amplifier
For the next seven days, commit to starting and ending your day with gratitude:

1. In the morning, after saying Modeh Ani, reflect on an additional blessing you’re thankful for.

2. At night, write down three things you’re grateful for that happened during the day.

Challenge yourself to identify unique blessings each day and watch how this simple habit transforms your mindset and deepens your connection with Hashem.

Exciting News: 4-Minute Gratitude Launching Soon!

I’m thrilled to announce that the 4-Minute Gratitude Program is launching soon! This program is designed to help you build a daily habit of gratitude in just four minutes a day. Through simple prompts and reflections, it will transform the way you see your blessings and deepen your connection with Hashem.

Be the first to know when we go live and gain access to exclusive updates, resources, and special bonuses!

Sign up and stay informed.

Let’s start this journey together and make gratitude a powerful part of your daily life!