Overcome Victim Mentality

The Blame Game: A Habit from Childhood

When I was a kid, if I stubbed my toe or dropped something, the first thing I’d do was look around for the closest person to blame.

It was almost automatic.

Maybe you can relate—it’s the instinct to believe we’re perfect and any mishap couldn’t possibly be our fault. We’re always the victim.

Recognizing the Victim Mentality

But as I grew older, I noticed that this reaction wasn’t just a childish habit—it was a pattern that lingered in subtle ways. If something went wrong, my mind would still jump to assigning blame outside of myself.

Over the years, I’ve seen how naturally this victim impulse runs in us, how instinctively we protect our self-image and look for reasons outside ourselves for life’s frustrations.

A Lesson in Pirkei Avot: How We Rationalize Our Own Actions

Just the other day, I was learning Pirkei Avot with my son, and we came across a teaching that shone a light on this tendency.