The Seder That Changed Me and Why You Need to Care

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Time is flying, and somehow, we’re already knee-deep in Pesach cleaning! With just over a week to go, we’re not just scrubbing kitchens and clearing out chametz — we’re preparing ourselves and our homes for one of the most powerful nights of the year.

On Seder night, we fulfill a mitzvah that might seem simple on the surface, but is actually one of the most profound: Sipur Yetziat Mitzrayim — telling the story of the Exodus from Egypt.

Now, we do mention the Exodus every single day — in Shema, in Kiddush Friday night (“zecher l’yetziat Mitzrayim”), and it's part of our daily awareness as Jews. That’s the mitzvah of zechira — to remember what Hashem did for us.

But the Seder night is something else entirely.

It’s not about remembering for ourselves. It’s about passing it on — to our kids, to the next generation. It’s about creating a link in the chain of Jewish continuity that has never been broken.

And for that, we can’t just read through the Haggadah like it’s a script. It has to come alive.
We need to tell a story — a story that pulls them in, sparks curiosity, and lights a fire.
Props, songs, questions, plastic frogs, green onion whips — whatever it takes to make it unforgettable.

Tell your kids: “If there’s one story you remember — let it be this one.”
Because this night isn’t about us. It’s about them.
And the more joy, energy, and involvement we bring — the deeper the impact will be.

There’s a reason Chazal tell us to start learning and preparing for Pesach 30 days in advance.
It’s not just about halachot… and cleaning. It’s about gearing up to tell our national story — a story that literally defines who we are.

And it’s no coincidence that this 30-day countdown begins with Purim.
Purim is wild, loud, joyful, and full of spirit. That same spirit is exactly what we need to bring to the Seder. That’s what makes it remarkable.

Rav Rimon points out something amazing. The Mah Nishtanah includes a strange question:
“Why do we dip twice?” What does that have to do with the story of Yetziat Mitzrayim?

His answer? It’s not about the dipping. It’s about the questions.
When kids are asking, they’re engaged.
And when they’re engaged, we can teach.

So even if a question seems off-topic — it might be the very thing that leads them deeper into the story.
Encouraging our kids to ask, to wonder, and to challenge is not just a Seder strategy — it’s a life strategy. It helps raise curious, thoughtful, connected Jewish kids.

✨ Speaking of connection — this week’s Mashal Monday was all about what WiFi can teach us about connecting to Hashem. You can check out the post here and the video here, or just reply to this email and I’ll send it to you directly.

As always, I’d love to hear from you — questions, feedback, or just a quick hello.

Wishing you a week full of energy, excitement, and joyful preparation for the greatest story night of the year!

Now, let’s jump into this week’s message.

The Seder That Changed Me — And Why It Matters for the Future of Our People

I always went to the Pesach seder at my Bobie and Zaidy’s house.
Same table.
Same songs.
Same Divrei Torah.
Same jokes. (bih bih bih…)

After my Zaidy was niftar, we continued at my parents’ home. Even when I got married and had kids, we went back. Pesach was never up for discussion. It meant something — that night of unity, of memory, of something way bigger than ourselves.

Until one year, we couldn’t go.
My wife was pregnant and couldn’t fly. So for the first time ever, we made our own seder.

And something happened that I didn’t expect.
As I led the seder — saying the words, singing the tunes, explaining the steps — I had a realization:
I was doing it exactly like my father.
And he did it like his father.
And I remember my Zaidy saying: “This is how my father did it.”

That night, I wasn’t just hosting a seder.
I became a link in the chain.
Not just any chain — the chain.
The one that holds our people together.

The Secret to Jewish Survival

“V’higadeta l’vincha” — you shall tell your child.
It’s more than a mitzvah.
It’s a survival strategy.
A vision.
A calling.

The Jewish people aren’t here today because of armies or assets.
We’re here because of stories.
Because of the energy, the emotion, the passion we bring to the seder table.
Because we make our kids feel like they were there.

We’re not just telling a story.
We’re handing over an identity.

Why We Go All Out

There’s a reason we go all out to keep the kids engaged.
The songs, the costumes, the candy, the frogs — it’s not just fun.
It’s the future.

If our children aren’t lit up by the seder…
If they don’t feel the story…
The chain stops with us.

The Seder That Made Me Realize

That night taught me something deep.
I didn’t “study” how to lead a seder.
I didn’t read a manual.
But I had seen it, absorbed it, lived it — year after year.
The flow. The tone. The tunes. The divrei Torah.
It was all already inside me.

What I Learned Leading My First Seder

And then something funny happened…

As I read the Haggadah, my kids started commenting — joking about the way we were singing certain lines, laughing at some of the strange customs we were doing and trying to out-sing each other.

And it hit me like a wave.

Those were the exact same jokes my brothers and I used to make.
Same lines. Same reactions. Maybe even word for word.

And don’t get me started on the singing competitions.

Without even trying, they were reenacting our seder from years ago.

That’s when I realized:

This is how tradition survives.
Not just through words — but through laughter, rhythm, reactions, and love.

That’s the power of modeling.
We don’t raise children by lecturing.
We raise them by living.

So:
Live with excitement and joy.
Repeat your values — again and again.
Let your life be the loudest message in the room.

Repetition shapes the subconscious.
It’s why propaganda works.
And it’s why the Torah tells us to fill our homes with mitzvot, meaning, and melody.

Why They Went to Rabbi Akiva

Every year, we read about Rabbi Eliezer, Rabbi Yehoshua, Rabbi Elazar ben Azarya, Rabbi Akiva, and Rabbi Tarfon — sitting in Bnei Brak — discussing Yetziat Mitzrayim all night long. (talk about who finished their seder the latest)
But here’s the deeper question:
Rabbi Akiva was the only one who lived in Bnei Brak.

Why were they all at Rabbi Akiva’s house?

He was the youngest.
They were older and greater in stature.
And yet, they went to him.

Because this was after the Churban.
The Beit HaMikdash was destroyed.
Rome had crushed us. Hope was fading.

But Rabbi Akiva?
He was the one who laughed when others cried.
The one who saw hope in the ashes.
The one who believed the story wasn't over.

And they needed that energy — that contagious hope — to fulfill the mitzvah of Sipur Yetziat Mitzrayim.
Because it’s not enough to tell the story.
You have to light a fire with it.

The Man on the Plane

There’s a story about two Jews on a plane — one religious, one secular.
Each had grandchildren sitting further back.

Throughout the flight, the religious man's grandchildren kept coming up — offering water, checking in, showing care and respect.

Eventually, the secular man turned and said:
"I can’t help but notice how your grandchildren keep coming to you. Mine haven’t come once."

The religious man replied:
"To my grandchildren, I’m closer to the Source.
To Hashem. To Torah.
I’m a link in the chain they revere.
But to your grandchildren…
You’re just someone who didn’t figure it out yet.
Every generation thinks it knows better than the last.”

So… What About You?

Ask yourself:
Are you creating a seder your children will want to recreate?
Even if you don’t have kids yet — you’re still becoming someone’s role model.

This isn’t just about Pesach.
It’s about your whole life.

Are your mitzvot alive with meaning?
Are you living a life that others would want to copy?

We’re not just telling stories.
We’re shaping souls.

The Chain That Shines

There’s a halacha that we start preparing for Pesach 30 days in advance.
Why?
Because this night is the heartbeat of our nation.
It’s the spark that keeps us going.
Not just for us —
For them.
Not just for memory —
For destiny.

Because the story we tell on Pesach?
It’s not just about the past.
It’s a blueprint for the future.

Let’s make sure the chain doesn’t just survive…
Let’s make sure it shines.

🛠️ Practical Tips: How to Be the Link That Passes It On

Want to be the kind of parent or role model whose kids carry the torch forward? Here are 5 simple ways to show love for mitzvot and make your children want to be part of it:

1. Let your eyes light up when you do a mitzvah.
Whether it’s bentching after a meal, making Kiddush, or searching for chametz — don’t rush through it. Smile. Sing. Make it clear that this is something you get to do, not something you have to do.

2. Make the seder something they look forward to all year.
Turn “Magid” into an adventure. Use silly voices. Act things out. Ask them for their opinions. Let them feel like they matter at that table.

3. Share your “why.”
Instead of just doing the mitzvah, take a moment to say something like: “You know why I love this part? Because it reminds me that…” This is how values become stories—and stories are what stick.

4. Celebrate effort, not just knowledge.
When your child joins in or asks a question (even if it’s off-topic), show enthusiasm. That one spark can turn into a fire later.

5. Let them see you preparing with joy.
If you're cleaning, shopping, or reviewing a dvar Torah, say out loud: “I love getting ready for Pesach—it’s such a special time.” You're planting seeds with every word and action.

🧠 This Week’s Challenge: Create a “Remember the Time…” Moment

We’re just about a week away from Pesach.
Your challenge this week:

👉 Come up with one thing to bring to the seder that will leave a lasting impact.

Something that your kids will talk about years from now:

It can be a:

• Song

• Dance

• Game

• Skit

• Special gift

• Or anything else that makes the seder unforgettable

Be creative. Be bold. Be fun.
This is your chance to live the story—and make your kids want to pass it on.

And remember what Rav Yosef Rimon teaches:

Sometimes, all it takes is one moment of joy to unlock a lifetime of meaning.

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Wishing you a Shabbat and week of joyful preparation—where every act of cleaning, planning, and learning brings you closer to the story we’ve been telling for generations.

May you feel the power of your role in the chain, and may the seder you create this year light up the hearts of those around you for years to come.

Shabbat Shalom,
Amir