The Divine Design of Life: Struggles, Purpose, and Redemption

The Three Stages of Life: A Divine Journey of Growth and Purpose

Every challenge you're facing, every challenge you’ve faced, every moment of joy and struggle, is part of Hashem’s master plan.  

Imagine a journey so carefully crafted that every step—even the painful ones—was designed to lead you toward unimaginable growth, fulfillment and pleasure. 

This isn’t just wishful thinking; it’s the reality Hashem created for each of us. Life is a divine masterpiece, unfolding in three stages, and understanding these stages will change the way you see your challenges, your successes, and your purpose.

Let’s explore these three stages and discover how they shape our lives.

Stage One: Before We Enter This World

Before we are born, our souls exist in perfect harmony with Hashem, basking in His infinite light and experiencing unparalleled pleasure. But Hashem, in His infinite kindness, wants even more for us. He wants us to earn that pleasure, because only then can we truly appreciate its value.

In the womb, a malach (angel) teaches us the entire Torah—our Torah. It’s deeply personal, reflecting the unique mission each of us is sent to accomplish. Right before we are born, the malach touches our lips, causing us to forget everything we learned.

Why? Because unearned wisdom and pleasure don’t have the same meaning. We are sent into the world to rediscover, relearn, and earn the Torah that was once gifted to us.

Each of us has a unique portion of Torah, something no one else can bring to the world. That's why we pray multiple times each day, "וְתֵן חֶלְקֵנוּ בְּתוֹרָתֶךָ"—asking Hashem to grant us our unique portion in His Torah.

The Talmud reminds us: "אַשְׁרֵי הָאִישׁ שֶׁבָּא לְכָאן וְתַלְמוּדוֹ בְּיָדוֹ" — praiseworthy is the one who comes to the World to Come with their Torah in hand.

The malach who taught us Torah in the womb will greet us and ask, “Did you learn it? Did you fulfill your mission?” Imagine the joy of being able to answer, “Yes, I did.”

Stage Two: Life’s Challenges and Growth

The second stage begins the moment we enter this world. Life here is hard. It’s meant to be. Challenges and struggles are not obstacles; they’re the tools Hashem uses to refine us and shape us into the people we need to become.

This stage is about effort. It’s about striving to fulfill our mission, reconnect with our unique Torah, and grow through life’s tests. But here’s the beauty: as difficult as this stage can be, it’s where we find the deepest joy.

There is no greater satisfaction than earning something through hard work and dedication.

To illustrate this, let me share a story.

The Father and Son: Learning the Value of Effort

A father wanted to teach his son the value of hard work. One day, he told the boy, “Go earn $5. You’ll get no privileges—no screens, no games—until you do.” Frustrated, the boy ran to his mother, who, out of pity, handed him $5.

Triumphantly, the son returned to his father and handed him the money. Without hesitation, the father tossed it into the fireplace. Shocked, the boy watched as the money burned.

“You didn’t earn it,” the father said.

The next day, the boy tried again. A kind neighbor handed him $5 out of sympathy, and he returned to his father. Once again, the money was thrown into the fire. This time, the boy was livid.

Finally, the boy knocked on doors, asking if anyone had work for him. After hours of effort, he earned just over $3 by doing odd jobs. He returned to his father, head down, and handed him the money, saying he’d go back out the next day to earn the rest.

When the father threw that hard-earned $3 and change into the fire, the boy leapt toward the flames, shouting, “Stop! I worked so hard for that!”

The father hugged his son and said, “Now you understand. What we achieve through effort is valued far more than anything simply given to us."

My Personal Journey

This lesson isn’t just theoretical. It’s a truth I’ve experienced firsthand.

For much of my life, I struggled. ADHD, dyslexia, financial challenges, even struggles with faith and bitachon. There were countless moments when I asked Hashem, “What do You want from me?” It was hard to see the purpose in my struggles.

One morning after davening, I finished my Shnayim Mikra and daily Tehillim, poured a coffee, and sat down to learn Gemara. A friend walked in, clearly burdened, and we began to talk. He shared his struggles, and I offered him chizuk.

We spoke for over an hour, and when we finished, he thanked me, saying, “You have so much to offer. Your experiences give you a depth that most people, even therapists don’t have.”

At that moment, it hit me: every challenge I’ve faced was a gift from Hashem. Each one was perfectly designed to refine me, to teach me, and to prepare me for moments like this—moments where I could help someone else. This realization is why I started this journey: to share what I’ve learned and help others navigate their own challenges with purpose and faith.

Our struggles take us out of our comfort zone. They force us to work harder, dig deeper, and grow. And it’s that growth that allows us to truly enjoy the results.

Stage Three: The Reward of a Life Well-Lived

When our time in this world ends, we return to Hashem. This time, it’s different. The pleasure we experience in the World to Come is infinitely sweeter because we’ve earned it.

We stand before Hashem, holding our Torah, our mitzvot, and our growth, and we feel the unparalleled joy of knowing we fulfilled our purpose.

The Divine Design: Why Life’s Stages Matter

This three-stage journey repeats itself in every part of life:

• Marriage: The initial joy of love transitions into the hard work of building a life together. But the reward—a deep, lasting bond—makes every challenge worthwhile.

• Building a Business: The excitement of a new venture gives way to sleepless nights and endless decisions. But the satisfaction of looking back at what you’ve built is unparalleled.

• Personal Growth: From the innocence of childhood to the struggles of adulthood, every challenge shapes you into the person you’re meant to become.

Thank You, Hashem

Looking back, I thank Hashem for every struggle. The times I couldn’t give tzedakah taught me the value of giving when I could. The moments of feeling lost led me to find Hashem in deeper ways. It’s in the lack that we learn to truly appreciate what we have, and it’s through the struggles that we discover the beauty and depth of Hashem’s blessings.

Every detail of my life—from my health to my family, my community, and my challenges—was and is, part of His perfect plan.

So, when you’re in the thick of it, remember this: Hashem is shaping you. Like a lump of coal under pressure, you’re becoming a diamond.

Embrace the Process

Life’s three stages remind us that the greatest pleasures come from effort. The struggles refine us, the growth shapes us, and the rewards remind us that it was all worth it.

Take a moment today to reflect: In each aspect of your life, what stage are you in?

What are you earning today that will bring you joy tomorrow? And how can you embrace the journey, knowing that Hashem is with you every step of the way?

You are on the path to greatness. Keep going. You are living the dream.

Activity: "My Stage Reflection"

1. Pause and Think
   Take a deep breath and think about one challenge you're currently facing.

2. Answer Three Quick Questions (either in your head or write them down):

   • What might Hashem be teaching me through this challenge?

   • How is this challenge helping me grow?

   • What reward or joy could come from overcoming it?

3. Thank Hashem
   Say, “Thank You, Hashem, for guiding me through this challenge and helping me grow into the person I’m meant to be.”

Weekly Challenge: Embrace the Effort

This week, commit to embracing effort in one area of your life. Whether it’s your learning, relationships, work, or health, choose something you know requires hard work. Each day, dedicate at least 15 minutes to this task, and at the end of the week, reflect on how putting in the effort made you feel.

Ask yourself:

• What did I learn from pushing myself this week?

• How has this effort brought me closer to becoming the person Hashem wants me to be?

Share your reflections with someone you trust or write them down to remind yourself that the struggle is where the growth happens.

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