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There’s a kind of pressure that doesn’t look dramatic on the outside…
but it quietly weighs down your whole day.

You’re not panicked.
You’re not in crisis.
And yet you still feel behind.

What I started noticing wasn’t just the noise in my head.
It was the pressure underneath it — a low, invisible hum… even when things are “fine.”

Like there are 57 browser tabs open in your brain,
and one of them is playing music —
and you have no idea which one.

If that image sounds familiar, it’s because I wrote about it a while back.
This time I noticed something deeper: it wasn’t just noise, it was weight.

It took me a while to see what was actually causing it.

But once I did, the pressure finally made sense.

Last week I wrote about the belief that fuels a lot of quiet anxiety:
“It’s all on me.”

This week I want to show you one of the sneakiest places that belief hides in plain sight:

Your to-do list.

Because the belief isn’t just stressful.
It’s clever.

It shows up as “productivity”…
but it’s really emotional ownership of outcomes.

And one of its favorite hiding places is: the list.

[30-Second Reset] How to Stop Your To-Do List From Triggering Anxiety

When the list turns into a judge

I’ve always used to-do lists.

I have ADHD, and my brain is constantly full of ideas.
If I don’t write things down, they’re gone.

So I write everything:
Tasks. Reminders. Thoughts. Articles. Links.

And the list grows until it’s not a tool anymore — it’s a trap.

Because once everything is on the list…
the list starts feeling like my worth.

If it’s all checked off, I’m “good.”
If it’s not, I feel like I’m failing… even if I worked hard all day.

At one point I hit a place where I literally felt like I couldn’t breathe.

So I declared to-do list bankruptcy.
Closed the app. Wiped it. Started fresh.

And here’s the wild part:

Nothing bad happened.

Which was annoying… because it proved the truth:

A big part of my pressure was coming from me.

It turns out, if something really matters, it comes back.
And if it doesn’t… maybe it never needed to be there in the first place.

But even now, I still fall into the same trap:

If I don’t finish the list, I feel like I failed.

And then I have to remind myself of the only thing that actually keeps me sane:

Hashem’s got me.

If I show up and do my part, that’s what I’m responsible for.
Not the list.
Not the outcomes.
Not the imaginary disaster that will happen if something waits till tomorrow.

The list isn’t the problem.

It’s the story behind the list.

The story is:
“If I don’t hold it all, something will fall apart.”

Open loops + control

Here’s the shift that changed everything for me:

A to-do list isn’t just a productivity tool.
It’s also a container for anxiety.

It gets heavy when it turns into a way of trying to control the future.

Not intentionally.
Just subtly.

And once the list becomes “how I stay safe”…
it stops being a tool and starts being a backpack.

Bitachon doesn’t mean “do nothing.”

Bitachon means:

Do your part. Release the results.
The work is yours. The outcome is not.

Pirkei Avot says it perfectly:

“It’s not on you to finish the work… but you’re not free to walk away.”

That’s the boundary:

effort without ownership.

A 30-second reset (try this today)

For the moment your list starts feeling like a threat:

1. Pause. One slow breath.

2. Ask: “What am I trying to control right now?”

3. Circle one item and define the next right step (not the whole project).

4. Whisper: “Hashem’s got me.”

5. Do the step. Then stop.

Not because you’re lazy.

Because you’re training your nervous system to live with boundaries.

You don’t need a new app. You need a smaller backpack.

A better to-do system won’t solve this if the belief underneath stays the same.

Because the real weight isn’t the tasks.

It’s the ownership.

So when you feel that heaviness, try this reframe:

“I’m responsible for effort, not for outcomes.”

Same life.
Same obligations.
Less load on your nervous system.

You were never meant to carry the whole world.

Just your part… and be held for the rest.

If you want to build this as a daily habit…

If you read these emails and think,
“Yes… but I fall back into it the next morning,”

welcome to being human.

That’s why I built Unshakable.

Not as inspiration.

As a short guided practice to help you stop living inside the backpack — especially when life feels like “I have too much to do.”

Pre-order is 50% off right now:
Code: PRESALE50 (launch price will be $97)

Pre-order Unshakable »
(Self-paced, bite-sized, and built to repeat when life gets loud.)

Quick question:

What’s one thing you’ve been carrying lately that isn’t actually yours to carry?

Hit reply and just pick one:
Work / Money / Kids / Health / Approval / Control
(or write your own — one sentence is enough)

Sometimes naming it once is what loosens the grip.

Last week was the belief.
This week was the hiding place.
Next week I’ll show you the simplest way to practice this when your day goes off the rails.

Share this with one person who could use the clarity.

You can be the one who brings them closer.

They can subscribe here:

Hashem’s got you.
You don’t have to hold it all.

With calm and trust,
Amir