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I once had a Talmud teacher who said he graded students with Midat HaRachamim (compassion) if they consistently showed up and participated. But if they didn’t — he’d switch to Midat HaDin (strict judgment).

He was half-joking, of course, but there was something deeply real about it.
It’s the same with our relationship with Hashem.

If you don’t even show up, you’re not really trying.
But when you do show up — it means something.
And what matters most isn’t perfection.
It’s effort. Care. Intention.
Are you trying? Are you working on your relationship with Hashem?

I’ve written about this before, and I probably will again — because we all need the reminder. We’re human. And humans slip.

The very reason we can grow in this world is because we’re constantly being pulled backward. The Yetzer Hara won’t let us stand still. And that’s a good thing.

You can be on fire one day… and totally off the next.
You can feel inspired, connected, full of drive — and then suddenly, flat.

That doesn’t mean you’ve failed.
It means you’re alive.
And as long as we’re alive, we’re here to work.

The greater the growth, the stronger the resistance.
That’s why Erev Shabbat can feel like a war zone.
And why the following joke is so relatable:
“What bracha do you say before Shemoneh Esrei?”
Tefilat HaDerech.

Life is a journey. And I’m walking it with you.
That’s where most of my writing and ideas come from — the real work, the real struggle, the daily attempt to live with meaning.

Before we dive into this week’s article, tips, and challenge — I want to ask you something.

A few people recently told me this doesn’t feel like a typical newsletter.
They said it feels more like a weekly course in personal growth through Torah. And that’s a good thing.

That got me thinking.
Maybe I need to reshape this. Repackage it. Give it a name and structure that reflects what this really is.

I’d really love to hear from you.

• Do you enjoy these emails?

• What’s your favorite part?

• What could be better?

• Would you or your friends be more likely to join something that’s presented as a weekly course or journey — instead of “just” a newsletter?

Hit reply and let me know. Your input shapes where this goes.

And now…
Let’s jump into this week’s Living the Dream article:

You’re Already Here. Now Show Up Fully.

You’re already in shul.
You might as well daven.
You’re already learning.
You might as well put your phone away.
You already have a gym membership.
You might as well use it.
You’re already at the gym.
You might as well work out.

A friend of mine used to say this line all the time:
“You’re already here. You might as well.”

It sounds simple — but it holds a massive truth:
Most of us are already halfway there.
We’re doing the things.
We’re in the places.
But we’re not always showing up fully.

And if we’re not careful, we can spend our whole lives in the right places…
while missing the entire point.

When Showing Up Isn’t Enough

Rav Yosef Dov Soloveitchik used to say:

And if we’re honest, we’ve all felt that.
We check the box, say the words, do the thing — and move on.

But that’s not how you build a life.
And that’s not what Hashem wants.

This week’s second parsha, Bechukotai, contains one of the most intense sections in the Torah:
the tochacha — the rebuke and warning of what happens when we walk away from Hashem.

And the language is striking.

Hashem doesn’t say: “You stopped doing mitzvot.”
He says: “If you treat My mitzvot as meaningless… if you walk with Me casually, indifferently… then I will respond the same way.”
(Vayikra 26:14–27)

It wasn’t the absence of action.
It was the absence of neshama.

The pasuk in the tochacha of Devarim later says it even more directly:

But Bechukotai already gives us the framework:
When we do mitzvot without heart, Hashem pulls away.
Not because He’s punishing us.
Because we told Him — by our indifference — that we weren’t interested in closeness.

Hashem doesn’t just want doing.
He wants you.

The Great Disconnect

Let’s work backwards for a second.

Why are you doing any of this?

Why did you — or do you want to — get married?
Why have kids?
Why keep mitzvot?
Why are you working so hard?
Why are you even here?

If your answer is:
“Because that’s what people do.”
“Because it’s what’s expected.”
“Because I’m supposed to.”

Then it’s time for a real cheshbon hanefesh.

The Marathon That Never Gets Run

Imagine someone signs up to run a marathon.

They download the training app.
They buy the shoes.
They get the best gear.
They even go to the track every day.

But when it’s time to run… they just walk around, check their phone, and go home.

They’re doing everything — except actually running.

It sounds ridiculous.
But so many of us do the same thing — in our learning, our davening, our mitzvot, our parenting.

We’ve got the gear. We show up.
But we’re just going through the motions.

Why?

The Story That Says It All

Rabbi Benzion Klatzko tells a powerful story:

A man came home on Erev Shabbat with a bouquet of flowers for his wife.
She lit up — glowing with joy and gratitude.
Their young son saw how happy it made her.
The next week, he picked a bunch of yellow dandelions from the yard, put them in a paper cup, and gave them to her.
She gave him the same love-filled reaction.

Week after week, he brought her flowers.
It became a sweet and beautiful tradition.

One Friday, his friends knocked on the door to play ball.
He said, “One sec — I have to do something first.”
He ran outside, grabbed a clump of dirt with a few dandelions, tossed them to his mom, and ran off.

She didn’t get upset because they were weeds.
She got upset because he stopped putting in the thought and the heart.

That’s us.

We start with love.
We begin with fire.
But slowly, it fades into routine.

Rushed mitzvot.
Rote davening.
Checked boxes.
Empty flowers.

My Own Wake-Up Call

I’ve been working on myself for a long time.
One thing I try to do is use every milestone to reset and reflect — Rosh Hashana, my birthdays (Hebrew and English), even secular New Years.

Each one becomes a mini cheshbon hanefesh:
Where am I thriving?
Where am I slipping?
Am I moving toward my potential — or away from it?

Sometimes I take something on:
Extra learning. More Tehillim. More kavana in brachot. Change in attitude.

Sometimes I crush it.
And sometimes… I wake up and realize I’ve been completely checked out.

One example:

I used to say the full L’shem Yichud tefillah before putting on tefillin each morning.
It’s a beautiful, powerful way to align yourself — to declare that this mitzvah is being done for the sake of uniting with Hashem’s Will. It’s meant to elevate the act beyond routine — to transform it into something conscious and holy.

But over time, I started rushing through it.
I wasn’t thinking. I wasn’t feeling.
I was just… saying it.

I realized that I had to pull back.
Not give up — but regroup.

Hashem doesn’t want perfection.
He wants effort.
He wants presence.
He wants you.

Even the Bracha Can Be Rote

Right now, during Sefirat HaOmer, you might notice this.

Some minyanim say Hineni Muchan before the bracha.
Some don’t.
Some say it before mitzvot like eating matza, maror, shaking lulav, and more.

These tefilot are there to help us focus — to prepare our minds and hearts.

But if we’re not careful… even the preparation becomes rote.
Even the reminder to have kavana becomes mechanical.

We try so hard to wake ourselves up… that we fall asleep inside the reminder.

It’s not about more words.
It’s about more heart.

So What’s Really Stopping Us?

Yes — it’s the Yetzer Hara.
But what tools does he use?

Distractions.
Notifications.
Mental overload.
Cheap dopamine hits.

And maybe — just maybe — we don’t truly value the things we say we value.
Or maybe… we’ve just forgotten why they matter to us.

Because if we really remembered their worth,
we’d stop holding back.
We’d show up — fully, wholeheartedly, and alive.

Mida K’neged Mida

This week’s parsha reminds us:

But the opposite is also true.

When we walk with Hashem with intention —
He walks with us in closeness.
He becomes our God.
We become His people.

That’s what He wants.
That’s what we want.
That’s what it means to live with purpose.

Your Life Is Happening Right Now

You’re already here.
You’re already in shul.
You’re already doing the mitzvah.
You’re already in the middle of the story.

Don’t stop halfway.
Don’t let it be routine.
Don’t let the flowers turn into weeds.

Show up. Fully. Today.

Don’t Just Show Up — Wake Up

It’s human to slide.
To forget why we’re doing what we’re doing.
To lose the forest for the trees.

We all get caught in the current.
But the work — the real work — is learning how to snap ourselves out of it.
To keep moving forward, even when everything around us is pulling us back.

Take One Step Today.

Just one.
But give it everything you’ve got.

• Say one bracha slowly, with kavana.

• Daven one Shemoneh Esrei like you actually mean it.

• Do one mitzvah like it’s the only one you’ll ever get.

And if you catch yourself drifting — zoning out, rushing, going through the motions — don’t beat yourself up.
You’re human. We all are.

Just pick it up from that moment — with heart, with fire, with intention.

As Rabbi Yitzchak Breitowitz often says in regard to mentally drifting during Shmoneh Esrei:

You don’t have to be perfect.
You just have to wake up — and show up.

You’re already doing it.
Now live it.
Feel it.
Mean it.

You’re already here.
Now show up fully.

🛠 Practical Tips: How to Show Up Fully This Week

• Choose one mitzvah and elevate it.
  Pick something you already do regularly — like saying Asher Yatzar, making a bracha, or putting on tefillin — and decide that this week, you're going to do it with heart and intention, not just habit.

• Pause before you act.
  Before any mitzvah, take 3–5 seconds to remind yourself why you’re doing it. That short pause can transform routine into relationship.

• Silence the distractions.
  If you’re learning or davening, put your phone on airplane mode or in another room. Be where you are.

• Check in mid-action.
  If you catch yourself zoning out, don’t get discouraged. Just gently bring yourself back and continue from that moment with kavana.

• Reflect at the end of the day.
  Ask yourself: Did I show up for something today with more presence than usual? Write it down or mentally note it. Progress compounds through awareness.

✨ Weekly Challenge: Pick One Thing to Show Up For

This week, pick one mitzvah you’re already doing — and do it like it matters.

Not because you have to.
Not to get it over with.
But because it’s your moment to connect.

➡️ Say one bracha like it’s the first time.
➡️ Daven one Shemoneh Esrei like you're talking to your Creator.
➡️ Do one mitzvah like it’s your only chance to bring light into the world.

You’re already here.
Now show up fully.

Wishing you an amazing Shabbat and week ahead, of presence, purpose, and inner fire.
Let’s keep showing up — with heart.

With gratitude,
Amir